Just a little follow-up

A little follow up for an article about bitches. 

Stepfathers

Right now in Vrouw magazine, for an article about a stepfather trying to win the love of his new stepson. Going to the toy store was his winning move. I tried to keep it sweet, but slightly excessive. Caption: "THIS is your new daddy!" 

RSI

I'd forgotten all about this one, I made it for an article about RSI last year ;
" Marja's RSI only played up during doing the dishes."

Erotic fruit: a "massage" course for women

Illustration about an erotic massage course for women, focussing on some intriguing techniques.
Text: " And this technique she calls The Blender."  (hand-held-blender = the exact translation)

Speed-dating

Right now in Vrouw magazine, an illustration on speed-dating. I made two versions for the client, one about sex on the first date and a milder version you can see underneath, which is the one they used.

"John had only one question: Did she have sex on the first date?"

"Speed-date dilemma: Dreamdate or pee-break?"

The bitch

I re-used this image for my Christmas card last year but actually it was for an article on bitchiness. The text says " Super-bitch Maria took her professional literature very seriously." She's reading: Why men marry bitches, Machaivalli, Free the bitch within, The taste of power, The lifes and loves of a She devil and a couple of Dutch publications in this line. (click to enlarge the picture)

Christmas agreements 2011

Another Chrismas one, this was for an article about how to make agreements with your partner to get through Christmas (without bashing each-others heads in). Saying: " No guys, first the signing of the Christmas-contract and Behavioural-norm agreement, then the presents." (click image to see full size btw)

Relationship irritations

This one was for an article about being continuously irritated with your partner. The main illustration says " Bertha's rose-coloured glasses were definitively broken."

Divorce inducing vacations

This one I made for an article on vacations and what havoc they can wreak on your marriage. The text says something like "Sun, sea & sand were the last straw".  Actually in Dutch the saying is "the last drop" coming from "the drop that makes the bucket overflow".

Postponing sport indefinitely

An article on postponing sports till tomorrow...or the day after.
"Once again she opted for a solid game of mental exercise." 

The little follow-up.

No more sex

This one is in Vrouw magazine right now, it's for an article on couples who are not having sex anymore.
"No dear, let's wait until the children leave home."

Jojo Dress up doll

A dress up doll for the jojo-ing woman. Made for an article describing the constant loss and gain of weight through dieting.

Citygirls living in the country

Another illustration for Telegraafs Vrouw. This one was for an article about a city girl moving to the country. The writer mailed me after this was published that coincidentally she looks a lot like this and actually wears high heeled rubber boots while gardening. I thought I'd just made those up. My first idea was putting a woman on a huge Louis Vuiton patterned tractor. Thankfully I didn't use that, Vuiton  seems quite keen on lawsuits.

Teenage parties

This one I did a while back for an article on young teenagers throwing parties at home, 
to the despair of their parents. "The end of the soda years."

Get what you want through positive thinking

" Magda was positive-thinking herself a Ferrari."

(About: parents battling for the love of their children. 

" And who is the sweetest mom in the whole world?")

Impotence and Bitchiness

On impotence: " Inge always mixed a little Viagra in with the  stew"


For the "Are you a bitch" test.